Whether you wear a cape daily or just once a year for Halloween, you can fang Lawn Love for ranking 2023’s Best and Worst Cities for Vampires.
To encourage blood donations during the national shortage, we compared the 500 biggest U.S. cities based on 5 categories.
We looked for cities with plenty of warm bodies, blood centers, and vampire-friendly dwellings (aka casket suppliers and homes with basements). We also considered community and entertainment factors, such as vampire groups and tours, as well as deterrents like sunshine and garlic festivals, among 17 total metrics.
Slake your thirst for blood knowledge and plan your next blood donation with our ranking below. To learn how we ranked the cities, see our methodology.
In this article
- City rankings
- Top 5 close up
- Key insights
- Expert take
- Behind the ranking
- Final thoughts: Bloody good times
City rankings
See how each city fared in our ranking:
Top 5 close up
Check out the slideshow below for highlights on each of our top 5 cities.
Key insights
Big cities like New York (No. 1), Chicago (No. 2), and Philadelphia (No. 4) fly to the top of our ranking with a plethora of potential victims and blood donation centers.
23 states — such as Massachusetts, Ohio, and Illinois — and the District of Columbia rank in the better half. Cities across New England and the Midwest dominate, thanks to lower rates of sunshine and scores of underground lairs (aka basements). All 8 Connecticut cities in our ranking impress in the top 100 due to high historical cloud cover.
Meanwhile, 4 sunbaked states — Hawaii, New Mexico, Nevada, and Idaho, the only U.S. state that has outlawed cannibalism — lurk in the bottom half. Las Vegas is the lone exception at No. 233 overall.
7 Arizona cities melt into the bottom 10 with bountiful sunshine and few basements to evade the rays. However, not all sunny cities deter vampires. Tucson (No. 159) ties with Atlanta (No. 25) for the 3rd-highest number of vampire groups. Phoenix (No. 222) and Scottsdale (No. 417) are each home to vampire-friendly clubs.
Expert take
Can you tell your Nosferatus from your Edward Cullens?
We sought out a panel of mortal experts for some insights on the undead. Read on to get as close as possible to an “Interview with the Vampire.”
- We know from TV and movies that sunlight and garlic repel vampires. What elements draw them in?
- What are some easy ways to identify a vampire?
- What are the best resources (books, TV, movies) for studying up on the habits of vampires?
- Stake, cross, or sunlight? What’s the most efficient way to dispatch a vampire?
- What is vampirism?
- From Dracula to Buffy to Lestat to Twilight and True Blood — what’s the best vampire movie/series and why?
Ask The Experts
Behind the ranking
First, we determined the factors (metrics) that are most relevant to rank the Best and Worst Cities for Vampires. We then assigned a weight to each factor based on its importance and grouped those factors into 5 categories: Food and Drink, Lair Safety, Deterrents, Community, and Entertainment. The categories, factors, and their weights are listed in the table below.
For each of the 500 biggest U.S. cities, we then gathered data on each factor from the sources listed below the table.
Finally, we calculated scores (out of 100 points) for each city to determine its rank in each factor, each category, and overall. A city’s Overall Score is the average of its scores across all factors and categories. The highest Overall Score ranked “Best” (No. 1) and the lowest “Worst” (No. 500). Note: The “Worst” among individual factors may not be No. 500 due to ties.
Sources
American Red Cross, Chef Lola’s Kitchen, Church Angel, FestivalNet, FindLaw, Garlic Seed Foundation, Meetup, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Pickyourown.org, Realtor.com, The Real Yellow Pages, TripAdvisor, U.S. Census Bureau, U.S. Department of Agriculture, Vampirewebsite.net, Yelp, and Zillow
Final thoughts: Bloody good times
If you feel like life is sucking your soul, explore some more fun vampirical insights below, and plan a trip to one of the nation’s top blood-sucking destinations:
- Rhode Island was once known as the Vampire Capital of America due to tuberculosis cases like Mercy Brown’s stirring up vampire panic in 19th-century New England.
- While its northern neighbor Austin (No. 63) holds the title of Bat City, San Antonio (No. 33) is home to the world’s largest bat colony.
- The fictional town Mystic Falls, Virginia, from “The Vampire Diaries” is actually located in Covington, Georgia.
- Celebrate Bella Swan’s birthday at the annual Forever Twilight in Forks Festival in Forks, Washington. The collection — featuring “Twilight” costumes, props, fan art, and iconically creepy Chuckesmee — is open year-round.
Vampires aren’t the only beings in need of blood.
Blood shortages can disrupt and delay surgeries and other medical procedures. Help your community by donating blood at a center or local blood drive. If there’s no blood drive planned in your neighborhood, you can host one at a nearby community center, workplace, or church.
Is the state of your lawn frightening neighbors? Hire a local Lawn Love pro for some TLC ahead of Halloween.
Media resources
- High-resolution images of cities
- 2022’s Best Cities for Vampires ranking results
- 2021’s Best Cities for Vampires ranking results
Main Photo Credit: meshaphoto / Canva Pro / Canva License